Things One Might Desire To Know

What does "Athenor" mean?

An athenor was a medieval item that was basically like a kiln. It was used by the alchemists to heat up their base metals in attempt to turn them into gold. On a more mythical level, Athenor was the name of a magical fire that actually could turn lead into gold. Since we believe that there are basic building blocks of sexual energy, and our goal is to learn how to use BDSM to turn those basic energies into something more “golden”, we have adapted Athenor as our name.

How are we different from existing groups?

We're different in a few ways. For one, our aim is to create a group with a more formal structure in which Dominants can be dominant and submissives and be submissive on a group-wide basis. While we recognize the individual value of all of our members, we hope to create an environment where people can go and assume what they feel to be their natural roles when they desire to do so. Formalized rituals and codes of conduct are the tools we use to achieve our goal.

Secondly, we are different in our membership in that our membership is not determined simply by dues or attendance, but also by interview and oath. Once admitted into the Lodge, you are pledged to all the other members of the Lodge and they to you. We are not simply members of the same group, but friends as well and we hope to pursue the goal of bettering ourselves and our experiences on a collective level.

Is this Gor?

No, it is not. While we hope to perhaps capture some of the same appeal of a formalized kink society, our rituals and customs are not taken from Gor. Nor do we support the mentality that one class is superior to the other. Dominants and submissives are merely taking different roads to the same destination and our goal is to aid both in the enhancement of that journey. We also allow both genders to choose whatever role they wish.

Is this a secret society?

No. However we do have secret rituals and aim to protect the privacy of our members. But it is not something designed to conflict with the religion, moral beliefs, or sensibilities of those who would join. 

Who would join a group like this?

To be honest, this group isn't for everyone, and it wasn't really meant to be. We currently only accept petitions from people local to the Minneapolis/St. Paul area.  It is for those who enjoy a formal environment. It is for those who like structure and ritual. It is for people who want to explore how BDSM enhances sexual energy. It is for Dominants who seek to benefit from collaboration with other Dominants. It is for submissives who are seeking a place where they can go and be of service. It is for both Dominants and submissives who want a place where they can go and partake in their roles within a group atmosphere. It is for those who want to learn.  People who very naturally Dominant or deeply submissive by nature.

Who should not join this group?

People who hate formality. People who do not enjoy sharing their kink with anyone but their one partner. People who believe sex has nothing to do with BDSM. Dominants who just think it would be cool to have a bunch of submissives to boss around. People who think they already know everything about everything.  Those who want to "play the role" of a Dominant or a submissive.   We don't want you to play the role of a Dominant or submissive, rather be able to release the "real you" in a place where it's safe for you to do so.

What does this group do?

Within the body of the group, we have discussions and demonstrations aimed at furthering the knowledge and skill of all of our members, both as individuals, and in our collective pursuit of attaining an ever-increasing understanding of what it is we do. We also have private parties and practice our D/s whenever possible.  On a more external level, we also hope to enhance the local community in general with social events, educational events, and play parties.

How often does this group meet?

Currently we try to plan two or three activities a month. We have our business meeting which is our most formal gathering. We have our discussion group which typically includes both a topic discussion and a "play" period for learning and experimenting. And then we have occasional public events such as parties or demos. Members are expected to attend all activities, though we don't require it, and hope they will attend as many as they can.

If I’m a sub in the group, do I have to do whatever any Dom/me tells me to do?

Yes and no. As a submissive in service to the Lodge, you will be expected to show respect to all the Dominants in the Lodge and any Dominant could potentially give you an order. However there are limits to what orders can be given, and the expectation is that a Dominant will not purposely give an order they know the submissive will have a problem with. The submissive also has the option of using a safeword if such an order is given. While the Dominants may seek to push the submissive's limits at times, and while not every order is meant to please the submissive, we do take great care to always stay within the limits a submissive has set forth.

As a sub, will I be punished for making mistakes?

At times, yes. Our goal is not to set the submissive's up to fail, but rather to give them rules to follow for the betterment of themselves and the Lodge. Failure to comply with these rules may result in discipline, though again, any such discipline will fall within preset limits.

If a couple joins the Lodge, does the submissive become property of the Lodge?

Yes.  Although we allow "couples" within Athenor, as a submissive, your are owned by the Lodge.  As a Dominant, the submissives of the Lodge are your responsibility.  This does not preclude anyone from relationships and a person can always alter their limitations to suit the requirements of their individual relationship (in or outside Athenor), should the need arise.

The various levels of consensuality are kind of confusing.  Could you explain this further?

Absolutely.  There is one thing to always keep in mind:  A submissive can safeword at any time with the expectation that the scene/activity will stop immediately (with the exception of level 3).   Bearing this in mind, below is a table of the various member levels and level of consensuality granted. 

How do I move up in level?

In the case of Dominants, you must prove yourself through a series of practical "tests" and or demonstrations of knowledge/mastery.  We call this process "shielding".  In essence, you get "merit badges" for each area you have mastered.  In this way, we ensure the safety of the submissives.  We make sure our Dominants are knowledgeable enough to handle the added responsibility of higher consensuality.  

For submissives, you are nominated by a Dominant who feels you have demonstrated the level of mastery in various areas necessary to move up.  These areas, although similar to the Dominants aren't the same.  Does a submissive really need to know the proper way to throw a flogger?

What if I don't want to move up in level?

Nobody is required to move up.  The levels are about consensuality which you may or may not feel like giving.  You may still want to move up in your knowledge...gaining shields and yet never want to actually move up in level.  In the case of submissives, just because they are nominated, they do not need to accept the nomination unless they wish to move to a higher level of consensuality.

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